O Shame, Where is Your Sting?

"Children are made readers on the laps of their parents," notes literary artist and publisher Emilie Buchwald (Famous Literary Quotes, 2005). Educational experts agree: parents who read to their children help them become better readers and students. According to the Reading Foundation (2002): "Even parents who cannot read well for themselves can provide a good experience for their children by telling stories from their lives, from their imaginations or pictures in wordless books. It is best to read to your children early and often, but it is never too late to start in any language."

Reading and righting -- Since this is a blog on Forgiveness, what does reading have to do with forgiveness? Well, just as there is a correlation between illiterate parents and children with reading difficulties, there may also be one between unforgiving parents and unforgiving children. What do you think? My guess is yes.

I have learned how to forgive in part from my mother. Not only did she pardon my brothers, my sister and me (for our various fights and foibles over the years), she asked for our forgiveness as well. Then she changed her behavior as best she could. When I was a little girl (around five years old), she slapped me in the face. I don't remember it being hard, but I do remember that immediately afterwards she told me that she had done something wrong by hitting me on the face, asked my forgiveness and said she would never do it again. And she never did.

Ridiculous wisdom -- My mother's legacy to me was not in dollars but in sense. And even today, 30 years after her death, I still learn more about the process and precious gift of forgiveness by reflecting upon her example. For one thing, Mom had a gift for seeing the ridiculous in the ridicule in life. When I was growing up, our church published an annual account of the monetary contributions of all families in our parish in the Sunday bulletin, intending (perhaps) to reward the "good" donors and shame the "bad" ones. With four children (aged 10 and under)subsisting on Dad's salary as a proofreader, our family landed squarely in the lower range of the list. Instead of getting angry or ashamed, my mother considered the practice so nuts that she found it hilarious. In fact, we sat around talking and laughing about it for hours -- to the point that I could hardly wait for next year's list to be published.

"O death, where is your sting? O death, where is your victory?" St. Paul asks in 1 Corinthians (15:55), speaking on the impact of Christ's Resurrection from the dead. My mother's response to the annual donation list transformed a potentially painful situation into a deliciously subversive way to look at (and laugh at) the pretensions in life: O Shame, where is your sting?

What legacy of forgiveness have your parents given to you?.... What legacy are you leaving to your children?....